at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
