Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
