it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
