The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
