I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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