I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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