Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
