Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
FUCK WHALES
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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