"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
