in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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