grandma shit on top of the toilet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
