I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
