So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize