I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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