Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Small penises have feelings too.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
