There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
