You're completely useless in the revolution.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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