This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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