Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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