I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize