Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
