i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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