It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
