We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
