every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
