Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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