I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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