Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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