I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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