He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
