you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
