just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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