Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
