Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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