the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
