i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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