Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
