Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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