i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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