I think I died a long time ago.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
