He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
