just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
