hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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