it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize