I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
