On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
