Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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