You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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