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then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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