i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
