speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this beer tastes like vomit already
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
