He told me they were just razor bumps!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
