mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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