I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
