OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
