these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize