the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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