I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
