All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
