"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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