32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize