before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
