I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
