that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
